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LEGS​-​NET 128: Speed Donk Bangers Volume. 2

by The Newcastle upon tyne Speed Donk Experience

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Donk Fuckers 01:18
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Donkerillo 02:54
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Byker Donk 01:00
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Saint Donker 01:58
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about

They're back!!!!


A donktastic review:

'In preparation for this review, I scanned my memory for a bleaker time when I might have seen 'The Newcastle Upon Tyne Speed Donk Experience' live. Vague recollections of Cuntfields 2016 blurred my vision (or I might have necked a few glasses of wine). Regardless, I had braced myself.'

1. Starts with a healthy bassline, to be fair. And then a punk refrain with more riffs than expected... ooh! And then a classic 3-chord bridge. It's like the Sex Pistols if they were born in Newcastle. In 1990. Not awful.

2. Tuneful... Reminiscent of mid-nineties Skunk Anansie... kind of. Great fuzzy guitars on this one. Sounds like the Prodigy stuck in a traffic jam under the QE2 bridge.

3. You could be forgiven for thinking this was early Offspring (at least until the vocals kick in). Sampled from a subway tramp after too much Special Brew. Particularly enjoyed the Pat Butcher reference, however.

4. Ahhh... I see what's happening now. These are COVERS. Well, covers with a big pinch of salt. Salt laced with ketamine. The riff to this particular NIN song is always going to be a banger, so I'll allow it.

5. Another Eastenders reference! Big up Ian Beale. This is fantastic in its ridiculousness. I could even bop to this.

6. Distorted vocals morph into a Teletubbies-esque plod along.

7. I've always hated the original of this song; it reminds me of drunk Essex slags at a caravan park disco, and no amount of donk, or even a key-change, can save it. Please stop.

8. Remember the time when PJ got paintballed in the eye and went blind? Yeah. Sounds a lot like this.

9. Would be an alright rendition had it not been for the bunch of guys playing on upturned saucepans in the background. But I guess that's the idea.

10. Promising start, and not a complete brutalisation of SOAD.

11. Saved (once again) by the original. Growing tired now.

12. Last song! C'monnn. I wish I was in a coma. Please for the love of God kick in so I can be done with this already and get back to listening to the originals. Halfway through this 'track' and I want to stab needles into my eyes. Not sure if I can make it through till the end without my ears bleeding. Do these guys have day jobs? My entire evening is ruined. Dear God. Nope, that's it. Cut off at 1:15.

In summary: props to you if you can make it through even half of this album.

Review by Bee Pritchard

www.facebook.com/The-Newcastle-upon-tyne-Speed-Donk-Experience

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released October 15, 2016

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